This week I had the brilliant idea that
Wonderlick and I should take advantage of this beautiful weather and
go for a walk. What I didn't realize is that 92 degrees is a lot
hotter when you're walking in it rather than just sitting on you
couch thinking about walking in it. But I discovered this too late. We
both hopped into the car, cranked down the windows (literally cranked
them they aren't automatic), and were off with excitement. The
excitement withered within about three minutes. Even with the
windows down it was freakin' hot! We made it to the park albeit a little grumpy but determined none the less. Within the
first 30 seconds of being there Wonderlick felt that he needed to
defaecate just to let other dogs know that he was there. Awesome.
Carrying a little bag of poo in the middle of a hot summer day is one
of the grossest things on earth. I'm pretty sure that as it festered
it got even hotter than when it came out of his body. Seeing a trash
can was like finding gold. We moved on. When we were in the shade
things weren't terrible. But when we were in the open spaces and the
burning eye of Ra was beating down on us I thought we would die. If
something ever happened to cause us to be stranded in the dessert I
don't think we would even try to get out. We would just give up and
try to die quickly. Wonderlick pulled at the leash with urgency until
we once again found shade. I'm pretty sure his feet were burning on
the pavement but he wouldn't admit it because I had told him to wear
shoes. His stubbornness would cost him sore feet. In a two mile
stretch we had to stop and take three water breaks. Nobody is
claiming to be an athlete here. When we finally got back to the parkinglot we were
quickly reminded that, oh yeah it's even hotter in the car. We felt
utterly defeated but we had no choice. In the car we went. I tried
to drive as fast as I could, with in reason, to keep the air flowing
and take right turns so I didn't really have to stop. Stop lights
were the worst. I started taking it personally when they would turn
red. “What the?! Can't you stay green for two more !@#$% seconds???”
An eternity would past. We almost blacked out and then suddenly
from heaven – GREEN. I threw that baby into gear and peeled outta
there. Then I would see it. The next stop like. “Come on, come
on, come on, Yes!!!” Made it. This lively dance lasted the whole
drive home. By the time we had reached our destination I looked like
I had been swimming and Wonderlick wasn't speaking to me. I didn't
blame him, I just handed him his water bowl.
