Most of us have heard of the shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. If you have not heard of them then I'm surprised that you were even able to utilize the Internet. Welcome to the twenty-first century. I've never watched either show but the commercials make bachelor(ette) life seem full of glamor, sex, and drama. Non of these things do I experience in my daily life and thus I began to ponder bachelorhood......
It's this nice little stage in life where you are actually a grown-up and do adult things yet your bedroom often looks as though you haven't progressed past the age of fourteen. Really there is no reason to clean. Who are you trying to impress? That daddy-long-leg that has been living in the corner for the past three weeks? So one continues the cycle of peeling off dirty close and throwing them on the floor and picking up clean ones and putting them on. This seems effortless but it really isn't. You do have to find ways of identifying which is clean and which is dirty. Some things, like large coffee stains, are easy so see. Those defiantly go in the dirty pile. But what about that shirt that's been there for a couple of days? It's the subtle clues you learn to pick up on. Does the fabric move when you push it with your foot or is it stiff? Are the armpits moist? If all else fails give it the ol' sniff test. Also keep in mind that jeans never get really get dirty. You can wear them until one of two things happens: they stretch out so much that washing to shrink them is the only way they are going to stay on your body. Or the legs get so stiff you walk like a cowboy.
Laundry is not the only thing that goes unattended to for vast periods of time. I currently have a carton of eggs that has probably been in the refrigerator for ten weeks (give or take). At this point I hate to throw them out as I am now counting it as my "longest relationship". *Sigh* Yeah, I should probably stop talking to them... Moving on. The milk has been with me for quite some time as well. Though, unlike the eggs, we are not on speaking terms. And then there is that weird fuzzy thing that hangs out in my crisper. I haven't moved it because I don't really know what a crisper is for and said fuzzy thing might have a right to be there. It's best just to keep the drawer closed. Now that I have a dog I don't have to worry about spilled food. He is happy to take care of that department. Done and done!
Being sick when living alone is the worst. No one is around to help you or get you anything. One time I was so hungry that I shuffled into the kitchen, grabbed a box of cereal, and headed back to bed. For the next two days I would wake up from my feverish stupor, eat dry cereal from the box, and go back to sleep. Another time I answered the door in my sleep. But that wasn't the worst part. When I finally realized that it was real and not a dream I also remembered what I had been wearing: shorts, stripped knee high socks, and a white wife-beater. Things have been awkward between my neighbor and I ever since.
Baching-it-up isn't all bad. But there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
1. Keep the pet to person ratio one to one. Otherwise you risk being a "crazy pet person".
2. Always keep your entryway and common area clean. That way if you have the door or window open and a passerby looks in they don't call Hoarders.
3. Put your leftovers away. Food sitting on the counter can attract unwanted creatures. Like the baby opossum I had under my bed that time.
The exception to #3 is pizza. No matter what anybody says pizza can live on the counter indefinitely. And it can eaten at every meal.
