Hot Dog

This week I had the brilliant idea that Wonderlick and I should take advantage of this beautiful weather and go for a walk. What I didn't realize is that 92 degrees is a lot hotter when you're walking in it rather than just sitting on you couch thinking about walking in it. But I discovered this too late. We both hopped into the car, cranked down the windows (literally cranked them they aren't automatic), and were off with excitement. The excitement withered within about three minutes. Even with the windows down it was freakin' hot! We made it to the park albeit a little grumpy but determined none the less. Within the first 30 seconds of being there Wonderlick felt that he needed to defaecate just to let other dogs know that he was there. Awesome. Carrying a little bag of poo in the middle of a hot summer day is one of the grossest things on earth. I'm pretty sure that as it festered it got even hotter than when it came out of his body. Seeing a trash can was like finding gold. We moved on. When we were in the shade things weren't terrible. But when we were in the open spaces and the burning eye of Ra was beating down on us I thought we would die. If something ever happened to cause us to be stranded in the dessert I don't think we would even try to get out. We would just give up and try to die quickly. Wonderlick pulled at the leash with urgency until we once again found shade. I'm pretty sure his feet were burning on the pavement but he wouldn't admit it because I had told him to wear shoes. His stubbornness would cost him sore feet. In a two mile stretch we had to stop and take three water breaks. Nobody is claiming to be an athlete here. When we finally got back to the parkinglot we were quickly reminded that, oh yeah it's even hotter in the car. We felt utterly defeated but we had no choice. In the car we went. I tried to drive as fast as I could, with in reason, to keep the air flowing and take right turns so I didn't really have to stop. Stop lights were the worst. I started taking it personally when they would turn red. “What the?! Can't you stay green for two more !@#$% seconds???” An eternity would past. We almost blacked out and then suddenly from heaven – GREEN. I threw that baby into gear and peeled outta there. Then I would see it. The next stop like. “Come on, come on, come on, Yes!!!” Made it. This lively dance lasted the whole drive home. By the time we had reached our destination I looked like I had been swimming and Wonderlick wasn't speaking to me. I didn't blame him, I just handed him his water bowl.

Zit Faced

I just celebrated my birthday this past weekend.  In my opinion getting older is sort of nice.  I don't miss my younger days at all so I say bring it on life!  However, I did have an unwelcome guest at my birthday this year.  A zit.  A giant, bulbous pimple located on my eyelid.  Yes it is as painful and obnoxious as it sounds.  My teenage years are well behind me so I'm guessing that this is my body playing a sick joke on me.  In my head I have began referring to this face bolder as Grendel because no mater what I do to it the thing doesn't go away.  In fact the more I try the more I seem to anger it and then it gets bigger.  Yesterday Grendel began seeping.  Now I have experienced a lot of nasty things in my life but having an overfull pustule seeping into one's eye is pretty darn gross.  The only comforting thought that I had was that this letting of fluid might cause the swelling to go down and it would finally start healing.  Much to my distress it has seemed only to anger the beast and now the thing is bright red.  It looks as if Mars has found a new home.


*sigh*

So much for the perks of getting older.