A few days ago one of my dear friends invited me over for dinner. She graciously extended the invitation to Wonderlick (my neurotic dog). Having two dogs herself she thought it might be nice for them to play together. When we arrived there was, of course, a lot of barking, sniffing, and licking..........on the dogs' part, not my friend and I. Dinner was lovely and we enjoyed catching up. We were however interrupted several times by panting and...well...humping. Apparently, in spite of the fact that all three dogs were male, they really enjoyed each other company. Both my friend and I equipped ourselves with spray bottles. Things between the dogs got weirder and grosser as the night went on. When I finally had had enough of dealing with their *ahem* interactions we said good night. By the time we got home Wonderlick was exhausted and went straight to bed. The next morning he was still sleeping when I left for work. My roommate and I crossed paths in the parking lot when I got home that evening. She was on her way to the grocery store and asked her to pick up a few things for me. As I turned to leave she said, in her sweet southern accent,"There is something I should mention. Well Wonderlick, bless his heart, his little 'thing' has been out all day."
"All day!?", I said shock and trying not to giggle.
"Yea, he seemed odd and a little embarrassed. You might want to check on him."
I walk in the house and sure enough there he was with all his glory hanging out. I began to laugh hysterically and then did the only logical thing I could do: Google search - My dog has an erection that won't go away.
There is a surprising amount of information on this subject. I began to read about the home remedies.
"Place your dog in a lukewarm bath. Get him wet and then gently begin to..." And we're going to the vet! I love my dog but not that much. We head to our local walk-in clinic. A chipper receptionist greets us, "What seems to be the problem today."
"Well", I reply awkwardly, "The good times just don't end for my dog." She snicker but recovers before it becomes rude. We are escorted to a exam room. More awkwardness follows as I have to describe in detail the activities of the evening before and the nature of said erection. Wonderlick is a little proud of himself as I recount the passed 24 hours. The vet explain to me the treatment and I agree. He is taken to the back room. I sit in the waiting room ashamed and praying that no one asks me why I am there. About twenty minutes later dog and vet emerge. Wonderlick is smoking a cigarette and has a smirk on his face. The most painful part of the evening for me was a check out - forty-five dollars!!! I just paid $45 for my dumb dog to get a hand job, Ugh!!! We avoided eye contact on the drive home.
