When life gives you lemons...well at least you won't get scurvy

I have recently found myself in the world of Internet Dating.  Due to my busy schedule and somewhat lackadaisical view on dating I thought I give it a try.  Plus its much easier and less time consuming to reject men from my pc than in real life.  The bonus is being able do said rejecting while in sweat pants, eating popcorn, and listening to Pink and still feel good about myself.  So far I have tried two different sites.  One I paid money for (lame!) and the other is free. Something I underestimated was the amount of creepers who were also perusing strangers profiles whilst in their sweat pants (or no pants), eating junk food, and listening to Cher. Also, I was unaware of the many different kinds of creepers.  Here is a list of some that I have encountered:

1. The Old Man:  This man probably has children (or grandchildren) my age and a whole string of ex-wives.  No he is not as caring and intelligent as he claims to be, because if he was he would not be trying to chat it up with someone who does not remember life before cell phones and the Internet.

2. The Poet:  Just because he rhymes his words and uses a lot of adjectives does not make him an artist. If he would have taken the time that he spent creating a profile that was composed of couplets and quatrains on actual human interaction then he might be more interesting.  But instead he is weird.

3.  The Possessor: He seems nice enough at first, but after an email or two he considers you his precious.  Then he starts to track when you are online and offline.  If you don't email him back with in 24 hours he wants to know whats wrong.  When he is further ignored the emails will become more frequent and more desperate until he works himself into a frenzy and "breaks things off".  Things? What things?  Clearly this fellow does not understand the concept of Internet Dating sites and should pick up his women at carnivals and flee markets.

4. The Slob:  Now I'm a little on the lazy side, but this dude won't even brush his hair or get off the couch for his profile picture.  His interests include video games, beer, and chips.  After spending hours combing through pictures of pretty girls he might get up the gumption to compose an email - yo ur hot. wanna hang out?
What kind of response does he expect? One look at you in your stained hoodie and now must have you! Ick.

5.The Ol' Fashion:  Now here is your good, old fashioned creeper.  He is the guy that smells of mothballs and lives in his mom's basement. Which he plans to move out of - once she dies and he buries her body down there. There is no need to even communicate with this individual to know he's a creeper.  The Olan Mills picture of him in his Christmas sweater says it all.  The "Block" button is for people like him.

Of course is not an exhausted list, but the one's that I have personally come in contact with. Now I'm not throwing the proverbial baby out with the bath water.  There are plenty of "normal" folks out there who are just trying to meet someone.  This is more of an observation/cautionary post.  If you have had your own dating site experience I would love to hear about it!  Now I must go.  I need to look for my night vision goggles.  I must have dropped them when I was.......never mind the details aren't important.